Neil Said:

Can you score this SAT I essay on a scale of 1-6?

We Answered:

As promised:

First off: ugh, this is an annoying/tricky question. I just want to go ahead and get it off my chest that I don't like it haha. It's a very existential question and I don't think it belongs on the SAT.

Second. Scoring your essay.

1) Got format (intro, thesis, body paragraphs, conclusion)?: 1 point
2) Arguments (at least one per body paragraph, supported by examples, at least slightly connected to your thesis): 1 point
3) Overall sophistication: 1 point
Overall grade: 3

Elaboration:
You had the basic format, but your thesis is not very strong and your body paragraphs don't really make any arguments. You provide examples which demonstrate how something is the case...but you need to at least state an argument before giving each example, because otherwise, you're just telling me stories. I think in the first body paragraph, you could have an argument like, "Although mastering skills takes commitment, one need not spend every moment working on those skills." And then lead into your example, because your example shows the merits of that argument. In your third body paragraph, you sort of have an argument ("The simple actions..."), but you need to put that first, I think, because SAT readers aren't going to be looking for it in the second sentence...which is stupid and unfortunate, but the reality.
Your conclusion. "Things...things...things...things..." Watch how much you say "things!"!!! In fact, try to make it your mission to never ever say "things" in your writing, ever, ever, ever again. Seriously, it doesn't mean anything at all! That's all your reader is going to get out of your conclusion and that's a shame.


Third.
Nitty Gritty Details and Writing Tips for the future:

Intro paragraph:
-Avoid "there is / there are"; try to come up with a really catchy first sentence
-I would watch additions like "(only in extreme situations)" - it's a bit distracting, and it's sort of common sense
-Be careful of subject/verb/pronoun agreement. "person values...their subconscious actions." Person is singular; their is the plural possessive pronoun. You need to make sure they agree
-Avoid thesis statements that start with "I think"/"I believe"; as I said above, this is generally not the strongest thesis. You have a thesis and having it alone would probably earn you a point, but what you have here is very basic.

Second paragraph:
-You don't want to start out a topic sentence (meaning the first sentence of a paragraph) with "For example." For the most part, your topic sentences should be a concise glimpse of what you're going to argue in that paragraph. So, it's okay to have the "For example" sentence as a second sentence, but you shouldn't put it first.
-Don't switch tenses! Stay in 1st person or 3rd person, but don't address the reader, especially not as "you" !!!
-Avoid "etc." and similar abbreviations (like, "eg." "ie." "&")
-I'm not sure if "dedicated towards his studies" is correct. "Dedicated *to*" is probably more so.
-Contractions are a no-no in any sort of formal writing: "doesn't" should be "does not"

Third paragraph:
-Move your argument to the first sentence and make it more relevant to your thesis by drawing a connection
-As I said above, no more "things!!!!" Make yourself stop!

Heidi Said:

my husband makes me beg him for effection. How can I better our relationship?

We Answered:

You should not have to beg for his affection. This is a way for someone to have control. Stop begging for it and I bet he will change about this....K

Marjorie Said:

"Ender's Game" question?? anyone read it?

We Answered:

Ender ended the war. Valentine was the softer sweeter one like the holiday. Peter was mostly talk and not a lot of action as I recall.

Henry Said:

Girl Driving me Insane?

We Answered:

yeh nah just move on dude, shes too complicated, and plays wayy to many games and messes with ur feelings, im sure u can find someone that love you and be at your side

Tracey Said:

Can you write a silly letter like a child would?

We Answered:

My best thing about Valentine's Day is the cookies my mom bakes for me because I love them. They are like heart shapes and I love my Mom a lot.

Jeanne Said:

Can you please help me edit my valentine's day short prompt?

We Answered:

well it sounds good to me. you should add a little more after the first scentence saying how "he was in awe as soon as he saw her, he knew they had to be together"

Eva Said:

need help solving puzzle rt answ 10 pts Need to unscramble jumble of letters to decode GECY NW ?

We Answered:

TEXT ME