Regina Said:

grade my essay! 1-6 6 being the best?

We Answered:

This does not sound like an essay. It does not look like one either.

The thesis statement tells the reader what the essay will be about, and what point you, the author, will be making. You know what the essay will be about. That was your topic. Now you must look at your outline or diagram and decide what point you will be making. What do the main ideas and supporting ideas that you listed say about your topic?

*EXAMPLE*
Your thesis statement will have two parts.

The first part states the topic.
Kenya's Culture
Building a Model Train Set
Public Transportation
The second part states the point of the essay.
has a rich and varied history
takes time and patience
can solve some of our city's most persistent and pressing problems
Or in the second part you could simply list the three main ideas you will discuss.
has a long history, blends traditions from several other cultures, and provides a rich heritage.
requires an investment in time, patience, and materials.
helps with traffic congestion, resource management, and the city budget.
Once you have formulated a thesis statement that fits this pattern and with which you are comfortable, you are ready to continue.

Each main idea that you wrote down in your diagram or outline will become one of the body paragraphs. If you had three or four main ideas, you will have three or four body paragraphs.

Each body paragraph will have the same basic structure.

Start by writing down one of your main ideas, in sentence form.
If your main idea is "reduces freeway congestion," you might say this:
Public transportation reduces freeway congestion.
Next, write down each of your supporting points for that main idea, but leave four or five lines in between each point.
In the space under each point, write down some elaboration for that point.
Elaboration can be further description or explanation or discussion.
Supporting Point
Commuters appreciate the cost savings of taking public transportation rather than driving.
Elaboration
Less driving time means less maintenance expense, such as oil changes.
Of course, less driving time means savings on gasoline as well.
In many cases, these savings amount to more than the cost of riding public transportation.
If you wish, include a summary sentence for each paragraph.
This is not generally needed, however, and such sentences have a tendency to sound stilted, so be cautious about using them.