Francis Said:

Can you score my SAT I essay on a scale of 1-6?

We Answered:

I don't know if you intended to post this twice, but here's what I wrote on the other copy:

I would give you about a 4. 3 on a day where I feel cynical, and 5 on a day when I've had my coffee.

I've evaluated it like the graders will: by skimming, and mostly considering format. You've got an intro paragraph with a thesis statement, sufficient arguments in body paragraphs, and a conclusion. This alone can earn you 2-3 points. Additionally, you've cited some sources and a personal anecdote. This earns you another 1-2 points.

However, you lost 2-3 points from me by using passive voice (ex. "It is said...") and by employing a fairly simplistic style (ex. "This is why I believe..."). Your tone, while conversational, may not impress every reader. Some might think you're being too colloquial/casual. You can start fixing this by avoiding addressing the reader directly with "you." It's hard to avoid, but you've just got to work on it, unfortunately.

You've got a really good start here. You would easily get 3-4 points just from the way you've set it up and by having a thesis statement, some arguments, and some examples.

Chin up! You'll be great! I know it's hard to write an essay at early o'clock in the morning when you've only got 20 minutes and you've never seen the prompt...but it's okay! You're almost done if you're already taking the SAT! Good luck on your college search!

Additionally!!

I think I disagree with what the other poster said about your adjective use in the second body paragraph. Yes, some of your usage is a bit unorthodox ("spectacularly failed it"), but I don't think that your adjective use stretches into the realm of excessively colloquial.

And (not contained in last post):
You should avoid starting sentences with "Having" and (I don't see that you did it here, but it goes hand-in-hand with having) "being." Just not the strongest writing.

Edit: Okay, I can see how the other paragraph has a somewhat different tone and feel to it, but honestly, SAT graders aren't going to pick up on it. It doesn't matter how long a person's been grading, writing, reading, or editing...they barely spend a few minutes on grading the essays. Usually they're looking for format, examples/anecdotes, a clear thesis statement, reasonable arguments, few grammar/spelling mistakes, and maybe a somewhat higher degree of sophistication for the 6th point, but they really aren't going to read it carefully enough to notice a tone shift like this, especially since it's not very dramatic. If this questioner were asking us to give a grade to his college admissions essay, then that sort of thing would matter a lot more, but I don't think it's all that important here.
I was in one of the first classes of high school students that had the Writing section and I also had substantial prep for it. I know what they're looking for; I know exactly what they want.

Lonnie Said:

Can I get some help on my essay?

We Answered:

your essay is very goodbut you might need to add a little more detail.