Max Said:

Is my college application essay response solid?

We Answered:

Hi Eric, I think your response is solid and it once again will depend on how good you have framed your sentences. The most important part in any essays are the flow of words, which undoubtedly should not be boring but keep the reader hooked on. You can ofcourse keep the flow of your experience by focusing your reaction and interaction with this women to attract the readers thus creating an equal balance on yourself and this star essay lady.

I think you can give in a more one on one interaction with her in the mid body of your essay if you worry that you have not focused much on yourself. So the first part of the essay will focus on the Lady the second one will be the mixed effort from you and the lady and the conclusion part will focus on you.

Best Luck. Would also love to read the content of your essay if you would like to post it on here in Yahoo.