Monica Said:

Can you score this SAT I essay on a scale of 1-6?

We Answered:

I don't like this question, either. :P

INTRO and THESIS
-I know it's hard, but try to avoid phrases like, "Many people"
-Work on your openings so they're more attention grabbing
-I like the "darn" ... it's kinda fun haha
-The thesis needs mucho work. Never ever start a thesis "I believe" or "I think." Your thesis needs to be an argument; not a statement of your beliefs

FIRST BODY paragraph
-Topic sentence is lacking. You're leading right into an example without making an argument. Make an argument and then use your example. Contrary to what the other poster has said, there is absolutely nothing wrong with citing from your own experience.
-"had given us an essay" should be "had given us an essay assignment" because she probably didn't give you an essay: watch the meanings of individual words
-I'm not sure this "however" you mention in your first example relates to the "however" the SAT question is asking. (Which I can't really even explain beyond my own intuition...another reason I hate this question)

SECOND BODY paragraph:
-This is good. Develop it more, though! This is the kind of "however" you should be considering - another kind of interpretation, not just the usage of the word "however"

CONCLUSION
-"This 'however'"; "That 'however'" "This 'however'"- which however? Your constant demonstratives are making your conclusion confusing!
-I'm not sure your conclusion actually says anything at all. It's just a lot of vague fluff, I'm afraid.

Grade: I think I have to give this essay a 2 or 3. It's just...not very well written, I'm afraid. You have the format, so you've proven you "know how to write an essay," but there's just not a lot of substance here. Part of it is probably just that the question is really stupid and vague, but I'm just not very impressed with the answer either. Your other two essay were definitely better than this one.

Glance over my advice for your different essays and post some more - I want to see how you're improving :-)

Daisy Said:

Can you score this SAT I essay on a scale of 1-6?

We Answered:

4. This is a fair essay for a high school student, but you do not really address the question, which is asking you to discuss the "off the beaten path" solution to a problem. It is driving at the notion that there may be more than one right answer to a question. Your narrative is good though, and you followed the basic rules of an essay (intro, point, point (usually 3 points should be covered) and conclusion). I'm a tough grader though - I would probably give this a B-

This part of the SAT is testing 3 main things. 1) Comprehension of the question, 2) understanding the format for an essay, 3) general spelling and grammar usage. My total comes from the following.
1) 1
2) 1
3) 2

Aaron Said:

Can you score this SAT I essay on a scale of 1-6?

We Answered:

I do think it may be a little short and your examples need to be better, as in more persuasive and it would be a lot better to utilize readings that the people grading your papers would know and understand. Also, try to use more formal language since it is for the SATs. I'd say it might be a 3 and with some work it could be great.

Use the rubric from the website below. When I took AP English in high school, we used this rubric and graded SAT style essays all year. All of us passed the SATs with flying colors. :)

Jeffery Said:

what are some ways you feel independent? (teen)?

We Answered:

Preparing your own food in the morning, doing you own laundry, doing schoolwork without being told, taking responsibility for your own actions, dealing with your own problems, etc.