Lucy Said:

USC essay feedback PLEASE!?

We Answered:

I'm confused about what kind of feedback you'd like. What is this essay for?

You'll get in, I believe, if this is a college essay, and mostly likely without changing this essay at all. Just talk more about a particular major you are passionate about--no one wants a jack of all trades.

However, it might be helpful to include a few more obvious mentions of a particular affinity for some higher calling--perhaps a medical, science, or law degree or a master's in education, who knows. You always entice them by ensuring that you are passionate about your work life and academic pursuits specifically--be they art, science, or medicine. This not only guarantees you'll focus on college as well as your personal life; it assures your desired college that you WILL graduate from their university and that you DO want to go there passionately for a good old fashioned selfish reason.

Your prose and diction are wonderful.

Hope it's a success :D If you don't decide you want to go to USC, remember that there are many other programs so make sure you make a copy of your essay so you can send it elsewhere if you change your mind :D