Lynn Said:

Could you please read my creative piece on 'The Secret River'?

We Answered:

You're a really good writer. This essay is interesting, informative, organized, easy to understand, and, for the most part, grammatically correct.

Kelly Said:

Can you use this word in a sentence?

We Answered:

okay, im going to look fo the purple elephant every day now!!!!

the president is a panjandrum!!!!

it sounds like a bad word kind of....


*help?* http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;…

Mary Said:

Could you please read my creative piece on 'The Secret River'?

We Answered:

Very readable, you've got raw talent.

Okay, here's what an editor would say: Cut out the repetition. Examples:

"our daily routine" is repeated too often. You don't need to write it more than once in this part of the story because people reading will get it the first time.

"My mother is a natural at it. She often leaves the camp site with my two sisters on a daily basis" This doesn't make sense. She either leaves on a daily basis or she often leaves, but not both. Change it to either option but it can't be both.

"I would normally" & "normally" Unless the character is doing something different this isn't needed for the story's flow. If it's what they do every day they wouldn't and don't need to express that.

"on the land" is repeated too often as well. Same issue as above however if you feel it's absolutely necessary then write it by using different words.

"As daylight unfolds, a new day begins." That's another redundancy. You could change it to "A new day begins with the first bloom of dawn." or such. Look for these repeated words and delete them or change it so you don't repeat the same wording.

You could probably cut the word count down by about a third and it would really punch up the remaining content.

Top notch work you're doing, really reads with a good flow and it's interesting right off the mark.