Marketplace

Related Articles

More

Related Categories

Recently Added

More

Join StudyUp.com Today

It's always free and anyone can join!

Watch StudyUp Demo Video Now

You Recently Visited

4th Grade Writing Prompts

Andre Said:

I am writing a college paper and i need some help or oppinions please.?

We Answered:

I like [a great deal of] this paper quite a bit. Good!
You write a very good hook with that first sentence, and, barring a few grammar errors, the paper continues to be interesting and clever. The grammar errors I spotted are these (some may be typos):

1st paragraph, 3rd sentence:
*Suggest you change 'First being the...' with 'First there are the...' [because the original is passive-voice, while mainly the rest of your paper is active-voice; I'll mention when it's not].
*Suggest you either put a dash between the quoted word "preps" and 'next' in the rest of your list of groups of people, or a period, in which case you capitalize capitalize 'Next...'

2nd para, 3rd sent., and a bit more:
*Your use of the word 'assorted' here is clunky as an adjective. Suggest you just delete it as unnecessary.
The reader already sees the 'preps... wake up' and grab...' [grab instead of 'pull on' because 'pull' is used again in the same sentence ['pulled'] and repetition is passive-voice in this case] '... whatever...' [that is one word, not two] '...Ralph Lauren polo...'

*Later in this paragraph, a typo on 'planned' --it's 'planed' right now. Typo.
*However, I do suggest you change two more things here: write 'Texas Tech A&M' without a comma, and put that comma between that school's name and ...hmm; that whole following phrase [though a meaning is eventually achieved] isn't crystal clear.
*Thinking you mean: 'Texas Tech A&M if they are on the wealthier side and are not afraid to show it.' [<--That instead of 'be on the wealthier side..' --and you don't need the word 'either' at all. This because '...be on...' leads a prepositional phrase which, when not necessary, is passive-voice writing.]

3rd para, 5th sent.:
*Suggest you change '...Nerd's attire...' to 'Nerds' attire...' since this group is referred to there as 'they' and that word is plural, so continuuing to write about them requires a plural noun regarding their clothes. May be a typo.
*The last sentence on nerds from '...as if that is the farthest things...' needs fixing because 'things' is plural, but the word 'fashion' and the verb 'is' are singular, so 'things' must be 'thing' --singular.

Great end you wrote here, as well.
A couple of 'fixes' and I'd give this a top grade.
Well-done.

ADD: Yep, if you put 'nerds' and 'geeks' in together, as you do remarking on their 'fashion,' you have only four groups.
Good call. Suggest you give her a thumbs up for that.

*BUT* I think including '...hairstyles... accessories...' would be overkill on your subject, really unnecessary details, and this is all about their clothes and behaviors--
(2nd ADD: --except those in the 'black, black and more black' group, but as you say, those clothes identify how 'Punks' are now 'classifed.'
Regarding the gangsters, well a few words about their [probably baggy? clothes] in that last sentence, just before '...who try really hard to be as urban...' is sufficient; it's a great last sentence as written).

*Strongly suggest you just stick to the clothes with your already present 'behaviors.' (Nerds being 'like dinosaurs' kills me, it's so appropriate.)
*Simplicity in an essay far outweighs unneeded complexity.*

--A very wise saying: "Brevity is the soul of wit."--
This is such a witty essay [with those few 'fixes'] you shouldn't worry about length.
*If needed, use 1&1/2 line-spacing instead of ordinary double-space & large margins.

Discuss It!