Kim Said:

I want to improve my english writing skills , please let me know how do you find this ???

We Answered:

I am assuming that you want some general suggestions on improving your writing in English, rather than specific corrections for this text (since if it were too perfect it would sound as though someone else did it for you).

First, I would like to compliment you on being able to get your ideas across. Even though the English is not perfect, it is not difficult for the reader to understand what you are talking about. This is really the first requirement for good writing: clear thinking. It is also commendable that you are continually working to improve your writing.

The suggestion about doing a lot of reading (including looking up words in the dictionary) is a good one, and I also suggest that you watch cultural or documentary television programs, which tend to put emphasis on correct language.

From the passage above, I notice three specific areas you may wish to work on (1) the precise use of vocabulary, (2) avoiding redundancy, and (3) correct punctuation. Examples:

(1) <<Workers can be classified in two big groups in terms of income and importance of work.>> I think you are not really separating workers into two groups here, since there is some overlap between the categories. You might want to say something like: "There is often a discrepancy between people's income and the importance of the work they do." [Also, you seem to be comparing cultural values between the United States and other parts of the world; it might be a good idea to make this explicit.]

(2) << Despite the fact said earlier, but still some people argue...>> The word "despite" and the word "but" make the phrasing redundant; that is to say, one of them is superfluous. The sentence could read: "Despite these facts, some people still argue..."

(3) <<For my company our president get paid for his family annual leave expenses and house furniture every six months beside his salaries, high commission and other benefits while other employees can afford barely for their children school fees and meet their ends by the end of the month.>> This sentence either needs more punctuation or needs to be broken into two shorter sentences, preferably the latter. "In my company, our president gets reimbursed every six months for his family's annual leave expenses and home furniture, in addition to his high salary, commissions, and other benefits. In contrast, many workers at the company can barely afford their children's school fees and have difficulty making ends meet on a month-to-month basis."

Here is a sentence where all three examples come into play: vocabulary, redundancy and punctuation. <<For me I agree with that to certain extent but in some cases we can notice a remarkable exaggerating.>> The words "for me" are unnecessary, there is punctuation missing, and the word "exaggerating" is not quite used precisely. I suggest the following revision: "I agree with that to a certain extent, but I believe the income differences are excessively out of proportion to the responsibilities involved."

I have included a few words you may not yet know, just to get you started on the habit of looking up unfamiliar words in the dictionary.

I wish you the very best of good fortune in all your endeavors!