Stephen Said:

How do I further improve my writing (with sample)?

We Answered:

Including the names of the games like Pokémon HeartGold version and LeafGreen version bores readers. We can assume this character is into games. Also, don't assume your readers know what a DS is.

You have a good sense of dialogue and puncutation.

Add more description your story. It's dry without it.

A question to ask while writing is:
What are these characters seeing/feeling/hearing/thinking?

Floyd Said:

where can i find pascal source code reports ..?

We Answered:

I've been out of the loop for a while. Reports? Cobol does reports. Access does reports. Pascal does executables and very well.

If you mean documentation, first, try to give your variables functions and procedures which declare what they do as in procedure getinput(var array[1..12]:integer);. Comment things as in:

{Receives an empty array. Prompts the user to enter 12 digits. Checks for input errors and stores the digits in the array. Returns nothing.}
That comment is based on my long experience as a C programmer where procedures are simply void functions which return nothing. A good first comment gives the procedure's name, tells us what it receives, what it does with what it gets, and what it returns. In addition you may use comments to indicated parts of your program, where you initialize variables, the main procedure and where you begin shutting down. That's all you need to know.

If you just want source code look at the tutorials. They are all over the web. I have a good one in sources.

Katrina Said:

A writing sample. Critiques please?

We Answered:

Can I cast a dissenting vote? (Yeah, and get a thumbs down. Sigh.) This is fairly good writing that nevertheless commits one of the basic no-nos. It tells instead of shows. It's almost as if you were explaining to someone what happened on TV while they were in the kitchen.

Teachers start in with show-don't-tell in junior high, yet very few explain it well enough for the aspiring writer to use it in his/her own work. (I suspect a lot of the teachers don't really understand it themselves.)

Telling involves placing us inside the mind of the POV (point of view) character, in this case "he." (I assume he's named for the reader elsewhere.) It includes feelings, thoughts, memories, the input of all five senses, although sight and hearing are strongly featured.

Here's a fast-and-dirty one pass rewrite to make this show instead of tell. I'm not saying it's good, but it's definitely not all telling.



Sweet Jesus, he thought as they landed among the dwellings, I’m never going to get used to that stench!

He didn't have to give the order. The unit fanned out, kicking in doors.

Come on, come on, report. What was taking so long?

“No target, sir.”

“No target.”

“No target, lieutenant.”

The reports tumbled over one another. A prickle climbed his spine and he knew, down to his last cell and micro-chip, that something was very wrong. He took two cautious steps backward and inhaled to order the unit to do the same.

Everything went white.

The blast knocked him ten meters straight back. His squaddies reported their pain in screams, which meant his helmet saved him from a lifetime of silence, just as his suit had saved his body.

Still on his back, he barked, “Status report!” as he tested his legs, felt them respond. Good, he wouldn't end up like Crichton. Better to be dead.

The responses dismayed him. Three dead, the rest wounded, some severely. “Seal the breached suit of anyone still breathing,” he said, heaving himself to his feet, his eyes searching for a downed man he could reach in time. The nearest man lay in three pieces.

“Now, now, now!” There was still a chance some might be saved. The ones too damaged to respond were as good as dead already.

Nicole Said:

What is your salary for Project Manager in environmental consulting with 7-10 years experience?

We Answered:

from $ 40 000 to $70 000 USD p. a