Glen Said:

College entrance essay help! (10 pts for best answer =])?

We Answered:

okay well a couple things id like to point out is the thesis, you need a more well defined thesis.... and in most essays, you try to not say i me, and you....

also, you need to do it in MLA format.... thats one thing they will gripe about in college, so do it now so they see you grasp the concept..

since this essay is about you and your family, its okay to refer to yourself.

start a different thesis like.

The issue of immigration has become a major concern of many american citizens today. Some are for immigration, and others against it. though many have their opinions, I'd like to share a true story of an immigrant family, who lived in fear and turmoil and made it safely to the US, to live their own American Dream. This is the story of how my family immigrated to the United States...

and did they give you a page limit, or word count limit? id say do at least 2 or 3 pages, double spaced. in MLA format, 1 inch margins

you can use that thesis if you like it

good luck!

Troy Said:

college entrance essay help! (will pick best answer =]) ?

We Answered:

I think you have a good idea, however the way you have written it is boring, I didn't even get past the broken vase. Keep in mind that they will be reading a very large amount of essays and if they aren't interested they won't finish it. You also repeat your self that your Grandmother passed away and your mother stepped in. If you broke a vase as a child maybe you should try opening your essay like this.

Several years ago, my friend and I were wrestling in the livingroom even though we had been scolded many times for rough housing in the past. We heard a crash and looked in horror at the vase my Grandmother once loved. I had a tough choice to make to tell my Grandmother the truth, or to lie. I chose to tell the truth, because my Grandmother taught me how important it was to be honest; I did not get in trouble that day.

My Grandmother taught me how to be a responsible young adult, who is honest and can be held accountable for his actions.

You really want something more like a story to interest your reader while still making your point. Also, relax your writing, they can tell when you are trying to sound like someone you are not. Write how you speak, but use proper grammar and punctation and make sure you don't get off subject. Find one central attribute and build off that with supporting statements.

Francisco Said:

Could i write about "pitbulls" on my college essay for the applications? i give 10 points?

We Answered:

The point of a college admissions essay is to sell yourself to them, not to sell some random topic to them.

Read the essay prompt carefully. If it says "Write an essay about a topic that is important to you" then sure, write about pit bulls. Here are some prompts I have actually seen, when I applied for college, and I don't think your idea would fly for any of them.

Write about a person, real or fictional, who you would want to be.
Write an essay about yourself.
How are you going to change the world, using your college education?
Write about a work of art (music, poem, novel, painting, etc) that has changed your life.
Write about what you do in your spare time, outside of school.

The last one is the only one where it would be reasonable to talk about your pit bulls and how you train them, but it would be a bad move to turn it into a persuasive essay about improving public opinion of pit bulls.

Keep in mind that college essays are limited in space. They only let you write 1 or 2 pages. You don't want to waste page space writing about anything that doesn't pertain directly to you.

Terrance Said:

Has anyone written an essay for entrance to college lately? How do you know what the theme of the essay ****?

We Answered:

There's all sorts of topics that you can write for college application essays. A lot of colleges give you a list of topics.

A few topics I've heard of are:
1.What's your favorite word and describe why is it your favorite?
2. Describe a significant experience that has influenced your beliefs, your view of the world, or any aspect of your life.
3. If you've lived , or traveled internationally, describe the cross-cultural experience and how it's influenced your view of the world
4. Explore an issue of importance to you: this could be local, nationally, or global.
5. Indicate a person who has had significant influence on you, and describe that influence.
6. Describe a character in fiction, a historical figure or a creative work (as in art, music, science, etc.) that has had an influence on you, and explain that influence.

Oscar Said:

College essay Help Please ?

We Answered:

if someone writes it for you, it's called plagiarism, which isn't allowed by the board of ed.

Jennifer Said:

College Entrance Essay ?

We Answered:

I think that is a fine topic for a college essay. If you didn't put in specific personal experiences, you should, because the essay should be about YOU. A college would want to know about what kind of person you are and the things that have shaped your life; not about American culture. They know that already. You will need to incorporate the differences between your home culture and American culture, and how it has affected YOU. If you feel you already did this, and your teacher still thinks it should be more specific, ask them what area needs elaboration.