Gertrude Said:

creative writing story (please critic)?

We Answered:

change little in "little screen" to tiny. it's a more descriptive adjective. Also "normally piercing blue eyes..." sounds weird. I liked the peircing blue eyes... but "normally" is awkward. Finally, in the part where you say "he actually had to stay longer to make sure all the equipment was put away correctly because he was captain. He was in charge of whole team and it was alot of pressure." The 2nd sentence is unnecessary. Just combine the 2 sentences into one. For example, As a captain under alot of pressure, he actually had to stay longer to make sure all the equipment was put away correctly. I took away "charge of the whole team" because that's redundant. captain = charge of whole team. so yeah. uhm, the good things i liked. i liked the modern references that appeared constantly. like the "Sidekick" or the "Adidas" or the "Mercedes. It gives the story a bit more human approach. nice.

Mark Said:

What was the best writing assignment or project you ever had in high school?

We Answered:

Spring of my senior year, my English teacher decided to give us an option to the usual essay assignment. We had just finished reading the book "The Princess Bride", a break for us from the usual, more intense novels. (By the way ... this was in 1987, before the book was ever a movie. It's a fabulous book ... funnier than the movie .... a must read!) Anyway, our teacher said we could be imaginative and complete the assignment in a creative manner of our choice ..... poem, song, drawing, and so forth. Or, we could just right the standard essay, if preferred. There were really no limitations; we just needed her approval of our idea prior to starting the assignment. My friend and I teamed up and we made a 5 minute movie of our version of "The Princess Bride", using selected scenes from the book. For cast members, we made clay "Mr. Bill" figures (remember him from the SNL days?). We wrote the script, edited the video, made a soundtrack with voices for the characters, and added in fun sound effects. My dad was even involved, shooting video for us. The funny thing is that it actually took MORE time and work to do this short film than to write an essay ... but we had SOOOO much fun! And, it was a great break from the usual work (the teacher normally made us work our butts off), and it helped ease the bad case of senioritis we all had. Best of all, it helped us assimilate material in a new way ..... using different parts of our brain than usual. I think this is what makes learning experiences most memorable for students.

Hope this idea helps. Have fun! :)

Erica Said:

Need help with writing assignment?

We Answered:

Well think about it. If you are out in a misty field late at night, how would you be feeling.

If you would be feeling afraid, for example, write that way. Give the readers sensory language and that will set the tone for your story.