Mark Said:

I want to transfer from one department to another, and i want to put this in a neat business letter, heeeeelp?

We Answered:

THE BEST LETTERS ARE ALWAYS IN THE FORM OF A SANDWICH. START WITH THE BREAD WHICH IS COMPLIMENTARY, LIKE DEAR MR./MS. YADA YADA AND ASSOCIATES ETC.
As you know, I have been working for this department for x amount of time, and I have enjoyed each day, along with the gracious opertunities this position has afforded me. Thank you sincerely for this.

(that was the opening smily)
I have recently been considering and weighing the possible outcomes and other variables involving the relocation into another department
and I like to get some feedback and guidence concerning this.
Because harmony in the workplace and with my fellowship has always been first in my book, it is my intent to keep with this balance, which is why I seek your input in this matter.
(that was the tasty meat of the sandwich)

I therefore would appreciate whatever suggestions you might have concerning my potential decision to move into another department, and I remain respectfully and

Sincerely;
whoever you are, cutie.